Oatmeal for breakfast is a good start to this morning. Hopefully, the rest of my meals for the day follow suit. Might be a good idea to get to the grocery store.

****UPDATE****

Didn't make it to the grocery store. Didn't cook any dinner. Me and the kids have been over my mom's house all day as we prepare for the homegoing of my grandmother. For dinner, we had Pizza Hut pizza for dinner. Personally, I had three slices in the course of 4 hours. Not bad, huh? Not to mention, before I left home this afternoon I did do some crunches and pushups. Yay me!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, BUT...

Gosh, I haven't seen my cousins in a month of Sundays or more. It's sad that a death in our family had to occur for our more recent gathering. Of course the occasion was sad but that didn't stop me from noticing the physical differences between my sister and I and my two of my cousins--my aunt's daughters. From the looks of things, something was definitely wrong with the picture. "Okay, our side obviously got the fat gene?' I declared.

Clearly that was the case because my mother, my sister, and myself were definitely carrying more weight--especially around the middle--than my aunt and her two daughters. WTF!. And what's worse is that my aunts children are the ones who supposedly LOVE to eat ALL THE TIME. So why, then, was it my sister and I who were carrying all of the fat??? I just want to know!

I mean if they LOVE to eat, what exactly are they eating: fruits, vegetables, beans, multigrains?  That's what I want to know.

Or are they eating and EXERCISING? Could that be it? I know back in our school days my cousins were involved in more athletics than my sister and I. One cousin played softball. The other ran track. When my sister and I talked about playing sports with our mother she would say stuff like, "Y'all don't need to be out playing and sweating in that hot sun. You'll coming home all stink and stuff." SMH. However, no need in dwelling on the past. I'm sure what athletics I didn't play in middle school and high school have very little to do with my current battle of the belly bulge. It's about the here and now.

I can't speak for my sister, but I'm not going to keep being one of the "fat" ones at family gatherings.

Zumba Fitness yesterday evening and PopTarts for breakfast this morning. Combination for success? Fitness experts would surely say "NO!"

Stress--A Fat Burner?

Surely it borders on some level of insanity for a person to wish for a stressful situation to plaque their life simply for the hope of a little weight loss.I wonder who would do something like that?  ALRIGHT ALREADY! I admit it. IT'S ME!  I'm the crazy one. But, WAIT! Before you pounce on me, let me explain. During a rare and random house cleaning moment, I came across a picture of myself --actually, a picture of me and my son--from a few years ago and guess what? Easily, I was at least 20-25lbs smaller thanwhat  I am today. At the time of the picture my son was 2yrs old. As a matter of fact, the picture was taken at his 2yr old birthday party. Without close inspection, a person could have easily thought the picture was taken some 10yrs ago. My face was thin, my usual shapely legs looked as thin as toothpicks. And the killer part is that I wasn't even exercising during that time! When that fact dawned on me, that's when I remembered what was going on in my life at the time. My husband was on the NUT, really showing his a$$ at that time during our marriage, taking me through some serious DRAMA--hence, the divorce shortly thereafter. LOL! But that's why I was so darn skinny! And without any effort! So just for a minute, one little minute, a quick thought entered my head, "Hmmm, maybe a little stress wouldn't hurt." BUT, I came quickly to my senses. Guess it's back to my exercise & diet efforts.

Rockin' the Jeggings...HOT!! or Not

As good as I look in these jeggings that I'm rocking on this beautiful pre-Spring day, the last thing I should be thinking about is the belly bulge hiding beneath my top. Well, I'm not really thinking about it, but it's always there staring me in the face when I get dressed. Even though I feel sexy as all get out, somewhere deep inside I think, "Damn, you'd be even hotter with a flatter belly." Think that stopped me from enjoying a deliciously, satisfying breakfast at Big Boys this morning with my kids. NOT! After all,  breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. Omelets, hashbrowns, turkey sausage, waffle squares. Mmmm. Absolutely delicious! So whenever I treat myself or am treated out for breakfast, I make sure I eat good--you know, get the day started right! I ate good and I feel great--belly fat not withstanding!

Food vs Sweets

7:45 P.M.

Me and the kids indulged in Olive Garden for dinner this evening. A much appreciated change from our usual burgers & fries or pizza. After salad and breadsticks I didn't have much room left for the actual meal so takeout it became.A couple of hours later I started craving those fudge striped cookies--no, I never got around to throwing them out. But I figured eating a bit more spaghetti was better for me than eating the cookies. From my personal assessment, foods high in sugar are more damaging to ones belly than actual food. At least most foods contain some nutritional benefit.

Chicken--The Enemy

"Okay, honey. Looks like we have to cut chicken out of our diet." I announed to my daughter when I came home from another informative session at the beauty salon. The loctitians at the shop are always discussing informative and interesting topics, either with each other or with their clients. Anyway, my daughter promptly looked at me like I'd lost my mind FOR REAL and started cracking up! Only she didn't know how serious that I was.

Interesting enough this was the second time that I heard in the beauty shop of someone warning of consuming too much chicken. Difference is, the first time they didn't really say why. During that conversation, they'd only said it wasn't good to eat chicken more than once or twice a week. This time, however, the conversation went further into the why's, pertaining to the enormous amount of hormones injected into the chickens so they can grow faster or be bigger. Yes, I'd heard of this before, but I'd never tied it into why my daughter has always battled with her weight--besides the fact that we ate too much fast food & too many sugar filled sweets. I cut out beef years ago. We eat  more veggies. I switched to brown rice instead of white rice. I bake food instead of frying it, etc. Still, my daughter remains on the heavier side. And you know my belly issue.

Therefore, while she's on her weight-loss kick and I'm revving mine back up, I'm going to tweak our diets a tad bit and see what happens. Maybe with this, she'll be more likely to eat more fish.

3/17/11 1:00P.M.

So far so good. Dry Cinnamon Toast Crunch & coffee for breakfast. Snack: Apple. Lunch: Pizza slice. Could've done better with lunch, but I also brought a small soup to eat that late afternoon before I leave work so I can eat a light dinner. AND I plan to get my exercise on this evening before I go to the doctor to have my foot examined. Yes, after nearly 3 months of walking around with a sore, sometimes throbbing, big toe on my right foot, a couple of my coworkers finally convinced me to have my foot looked at by a doctor instead of going along with my self-diagnosis of a possible spranged toe. I'm hoping the doctors can do something to hurry the healing along so I can get back to performing the lunges correctly on my 10lb slimdown program. Lord knows I don't need anything to use as an excuse for not exercising.

Did I Do That???

3/16/11 7:30P.M.

How in the world did I end up shoving a chocolate covered donut in my mouth at the end of the day? It was bad enough that I ended up with a Burger King hamburger and small French fry(their rendition of the size) for dinner because my loctitian was running an hour behind schedule and when I left to get something to eat while I waited, I was too hungry to make a healthy selection. Sure, realistically, whether she started on time or not, considering I didn't bring any healthy snacks with me for the time I'd be at the shop, I probably would've ended up with something unhealthy for dinner anyway, but I was still mad as hell. Nevertheless, when I finally left the shop, I considered picking up a Carmel Mocha from McDonalds for the ride home. Craving a little sugar, I guess, but I disciplined myself and continued in route to my moms to get my kids. Somewhere along the way I lost that discipline because as soon as I caught sight of the YumYum Donut box on my mom's stove I almost knocked one of my nephews over trying to see what was left in the box! A chocolate covered donut! Oooh! Yummy! Perhaps that's why God led me away from the mocha because he knew I had another treat waiting on me, right? Anwyay, my mom--bless her heart--offered me the whole donut when I'd only asked for half of it, so I obliged :)Figuring in that I didn't get any exercise in for the day, the only thing I can congratulate myself on is not giving into the idea--can't call it temptation because I really didn't want anymore--of nibbling on more of those Keeble Fudge Stripe cookies that I conveniently forgot to throw away.

I went to bed praying for a better tomorrow.

3/16/11 7:30P.M.

How in the world did I end up shoving a chocolate covered donut in my mouth at the end of the day? It was bad enough that I ended up with a Burger King hamburger and small French fry(their rendition of the size) for dinner because my loctitian was running an hour behind schedule and when I left to get something to eat while I waited, I was too hungry to make a healthy selection. Sure, realistically, whether she started on time or not, considering I didn't bring any healthy snacks with me for the time I'd be at the shop, I probably would've ended up with something unhealthy for dinner anyway, but I was still mad as hell. Nevertheless, when I finally left the shop, I considered picking up a Carmel Mocha from McDonalds for the ride home. Craving a little sugar, I guess, but I disciplined myself and continued in route to my moms to get my kids. Somewhere along the way I lost that discipline because as soon as I caught sight of the YumYum Donut box on my mom's stove I almost knocked one of my nephews over trying to see what was left in the box! A chocolate covered donut! Oooh! Yummy! Perhaps that's why God led me away from the mocha because he knew I had another treat waiting on me, right? Anwyay, my mom--bless her heart--offered me the whole donut when I'd only asked for half of it, so I obliged :)Figuring in that I didn't get any exercise in for the day, the only thing I can congratulate myself on is not giving into the idea--can't call it temptation because I really didn't want anymore--of nibbling on more of those Keeble Fudge Stripe cookies that I conveniently forgot to throw away. because by the time I got home from picking the kids up fromm my mother's I had a short time frame to help my son with his homework that we really should have finished over the weekend--don't know why I didn't do that--I was dog tired. I figured I'd make a better effort tomorrow.

7:45 A.M.

On the stairwell heading down to the cafeteria with only $1 in my pocket for coffee so that I couldn't accidentally buy that donut I was thinking about earlier, I passed a fellow fat belly woman. She couldn't hide hers anymore than I can hide mine, because like me, she didn't have a whole lot of fat in other places on her body. In fact, I was kind of surprised to see her belly fat because it was relatively new for her. A couple of years ago she was in pretty good shape, courtesy of the using the stairs for exercise on a daily basis. Obviously, she stopped.

Seeing another woman with a protruding tummy provided me with little comfort. For one, that woman is a grandmother--at least 20 years older than me. So, in fact, it's pretty depressing that I'm in the same boat, physically, as a grandmother! Tear, tear--one from each eye.

My afternoon exercise plans have been cemented. Back to my 10lb slimdown program!

Self-Sabotage So Soon

7:15 A.M.

Last night I reaffirmed my goal of getting rid of this unsightly belly fat. Even if that means renewing my gym membership for the next few months. Even if that means reconfiguring my schedule--or creating one--so that I can have adequate time for reading, writing, family, AND fitness! Side note: the way in which the above items are listed is purely coincidental and says nothing of their order of importance. Anyway, I'm just wondering why in the heck I wake up thinking about a damn cinnamon crunch bagel w/hazelnut cream cheese??? Can you say self-sabotage? Seriously, for about 2 minutes I lay in bed contemplating if it were possible for me to get up, shower, detour to Panera Bread and get to work by 7:00 A.M. Considering it was already a quarter to six, I concluded--not so sadly--not. Was I sad? No, because I knew I was wrong as two left feet.

Then, after I'm dressed and preparing to leave I quietly scold myself for not disciplining myself to have gotten up early enough to get a workout in instead of thinking about a damn bagel first thing in the morning. SMDH!

On the drive to work, I consider a donut from the cafeteria when I go for coffee!

Does this sound like the thoughts of a person disgusted by fat currently hanging over the top of her pants? NOT! SMDH again!

Fat Fighter

Can somebody please hurry up and invent a product or serum that zaps fat after only a few hours of vigorous exercise? Or better yet, no exercise at all. I'm not playing! Here's what I'm thinking. There's the morning-after pill to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the case that protection isn't used during intercourse. Now, if they can invent that, why can't they invent a pill that you can take to ward off fat from whatever fat-filled food a person may eat? Isn't that a good idea?

Keebler Fudge Stripe Cookies

Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies...they were a bad idea from the start. But I bought them anyway--a case of the snack sized bags, no less--under the false pretense of them being for the "kids" lunch. Yeah, right! Ask me how many bags I've eaten and usually after 9PM! More than one bag a night, in some cases, especially like now when my menstrual is on its way. Whatever the case, it's the same old story. I bring junk food into my house every now and then to test my level of discipline.  Result: I fail miserably. Feel like crap. Throw out the remainder of the junk--that which I havent eaten--thus, waisting money. Therefore, tomorrow, on my way to work the remaining 8-10 bags will be going with me to be gifted to my coworkers. Let them enjoy the calories.